I love looking at housing rental descriptions where the property owner is obviously exasperated with having to deal with stupid people, but decides to be humorous rather angry.
Dishwasher: Makes dishes clean, requires detergent, and pressing the "on" button.
Freezer: Even colder! Excellent ice cream holder.
Oven: Hot. Don't store your ice cream here.
Microwave: Hot when you want it to be. Must plug in.
Televisions: 3 Flat screens.
Video Library: You don't have Netflix? There's a Redbox at the grocery store.
Pool: Requires heat October-April. Please think ahead and order pool heat before your stay. Pool takes two days to fully heat.
Hot tub: This is always a lie. The "hot tub" is just a spa. It is not warmer than the pool. But it has bubbles! Yay! But also chlorine, so don't drink it. Boo!