Inane lies that could only ever lead to the two of us breaking up:
1.) He overheard me having a discussion about how most pop divas aren't very good singers. I mentioned that artists like Whitney Houston have pretty good voices, but that their engineers up the volume on their high notes, and have the ability to correct notes that waiver a bit off key. Elvis (I don't call him Seith when he lies to me) says that he and Poor Boy were once part of a by-invitation only Whitney Houston show in The Southern State Which He Is From, and that her voice literally shattered glass.
2.) When visiting my Dad's we heard a top forty song called "Crush." Elvis informed me that he wrote that song. I suggest we go to a record store and buy it so that I can see his name in the liner notes. He says that he wrote it under an ssumed name, and can't remember what that assumed name was.
3.) During a conversation about one of my freind's bizzaire sexual fetishes I mention how I can respect people with golden shower and poo fetishes, but I just can't relate to them. Elvis tells me that during one of the two times he topped that he peed in me. As if I simply wouldn't notice someone peeing in my ass.
4.) When I finally confront him about his phone conversation
"Seriously I have the smallest cock here." Ummmm. "We all sleep in the same room. Four bunkbeds. No, no, it's really comfortable. Unfortunately, the cutest one is straight. I know, I know. Aren't they all? Anyway, I should probably go, we've got a shoot in the park in a few hours and I have to get ready."
he tells me that he was trying to make Poor Boy jealous. I ask how Poor Boy reacted when he told him the truth. He claims not to have told him the truth. In a later conversation with Poor Boy, I hear him mention my name, what we did that day, and how bored he is being trapped in the house all the time. I ask him, again, how Poor Boy reacted when he told him the truth. He tells me that he had told him the truth from the very beginning.
5.) His Dad leaves a message on my answering machine. His Dad. His Died when I was twelve years old Dad. I leave the message on the machine, and don't even mention it until the bitter end. And the end was very very bitter.