,It turns out that two months of quarantine doesn't magically make the tone deaf wannabe musicians upstairs any more talented. One of them is still banging around on the piano while the other alternated between playing the recorder or singing, two skills they have never possessed and never will never possess.
Apart from a possible career recording shred videos for Youtube in 2012, I can't imagine what benefit their continued abuse of instruments does. It doesn't even seem to relax them or assist them in having a good time. They seem to be as frustrated by their incompetence as everyone else in the building. But that won't stop them from singing the same four note progression, or continuing to flatly exhale to the rhythm of Hot Crossed Buns.
For revenge purposes, I've been looking at bagpipes online but they are prohibitively expensive. As they should be.
Today, while waiting for my ride to work, a guy with long hair, a pound of hallucinogens in his body, and no mask on, twirled for times in front of me, and asked me if I knew how to free the sun from its its its you know its thing that was you know free the sun.
When I shrugged, he danced away. Poorly.
Just took a break from posting on Ebay to get something to drink and the Health Food Store across the street was playing "Don't Fear The Reaper".
I'm going home.
Sometimes I forget how many churches there are in this town. And then noon rolls around, and the thirty-twelve million churchbells within a two block radius all start fighting for attention.
----Hand washing meme, except that someone accidentally puts "20 minutes" instead of "20 seconds", and instead of the lyrics to some generic song, it's just the sheet music to Rush's "2112".----
Comic collectors have, for decades, laughed at all those jamokes who were holding on to their Spawn comics, thinking they'd be worth money. But now that there's a toilet paper shortage, Who Is Laughing Now?
The improperly face-masked yutz in front of me in line at Family Dollar, where I stopped on my way to work to pick up a drink and a box of Cheez-Itz, bought $120 worth of tinned beans, cans of tunafish, and toilet paper. At Family Dollar.
Guy Behind The Counter: "It's the end of the world, and you're getting only one box of Cheez-Itz?"
Me: "I just need to get through eight hours of work. If the world ends while I'm at work, I'm not going to need twenty-five four-packs of toilet paper."
GBtC: "You would if you'd just eaten all those beans."
I pay my pittance, and am walking out, as the guy behind me gets to the register.
Guy Behind Me: "Where's your hand sanitizer?"
GBtC: "Oh, wow. We've been out for days. Our next shipment comes Sunday, and they already told us there won't be any hand sanitizer on it."
GBM: "I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY NOBODY WAS PREPARED FOR THIS."
I put my headphones on and walk the empty streets to work.
Upstairs neighbors, if you can read this, I know I made fun of your awful piano playing. I know I loudly rolled my eyes when you switched it up to saxophone. BUT I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOU TRYING TO TEACH YOURSELF HOW TO PLAY THE RECORDER. This is a second grade music teaching tool that only adults who are master of other instuments should ever pick up. If adults want to learn how to play it, cool. Take a class. Somewhere else.
I can not abide by a twenty or thirtyomething year old certifiably untalented musician trying to play Hot Cross fucken Buns while I'm getting ready for work.
I will give Selina catnip, tell her you want to talk about how the American Economy works, and send her into your apartment.
On my way to get something to drink, a woman in a fanciful head scarf was approaching me. But, from a distance, with her head turned to talk to her companion, it looked like she was wearing a giant, smiling Velociraptor head. So I made a disappointed face when I realized it was just a fanciful scarf, and I fear she thinks I thought her head scarf was ugly (or worse, she thought I was some bigot who thinks I am entitled to an opinion on who should or shouldn't have the right to wear head scarves), but there was no way to gracefully articulate "I'm sorry. Your head scarf is beautiful, but it was not the fake dinosaur head I imagined you would be wearing."
How do you look someone in the eye when you're losing by 100 points, and then your same sex partner plays "faggot" on a triple word score? Like, you see that, and you politely leave and never come to game night again, right?