Random Occasional Customer: "Did I get any comics in?"
Me: "I think so. I don't put the comics away anymore, so I don't know how long it's been since you'e been in."
ROC: "I left a note for you to call me and let me know when comics came in for me."
Me: "Yes, and I told you we don't do that. Comics come in every Wednesday. If you'd like to call us and ask if there's anything in your folder before you come in, we're happy to do that, but we can't call people every time comics come in, it would take up all our time."
ROC: "But you could call me."
Me: "No, the owner is really socialist and wouldn't allow that type of preferential treatment."
ROC: "Are you fucking with me?"
ROC: "Well, I DO want to thank you for putting these side series in my folder, it makes my trips so much easier."
Me: "It's no problem."
He hands me his credit card, I swipe it.
ROC: "Dude, I'm crying right now. My poor American Express."
ROC: "You scanned that really hard."
Me: "I heard America likes it rough."
ROC stares at me.
Me: "See you next week."