Today In "It's Not That I've Lost My Faith In Humanity, I Just Feel That YOUR Faith In Humanity Might Be Slightly Misplaced":
Guy I Haven't Seen In Several Years: "Do I know you?"
Me: "Yea, I--"
GIHSISY: "You're the poetry guy, right?"
GIHSISY: "I think I saw you and your boyfriend at a play slam once."
I scan back through my memories. And, though he wasn't my boyfriend, I know who he's talking about.
Me: "Yea, he was in one that I went to, and we went together once to watch one of his other friends."
GIHSISY: "Short Asian dude, right?"
GIHSISY: "Did you two ever have communication problems?"
Well, he would get angry with me without actually mentioning what he was angry about, and sometimes I would annoy him by not instantly calling him back when he wanted to talk to me but....
Me: "How do you mean?"
GIHSISY: "The language barrier. Do you speak Japanese?"
Me: "No. And that wouldn't have been helpful. His parents were Korean but he was from Wisconsin."
GIHSISY: "So he spoke some English."
Me: "He spoke All English. He's from Wisconsin. Not Korea. Not Japan. Wisconsin. Where English is the primary language."
GIHSISY: "I thought Koreans mostly spoke French."
Me: "No. Are you thinking of Vietnam, or Cambodia which were colonized by France? I don't think most people from either of those countries spoke primarily French, either, but I suppose it was more common there than in Korea."
GIHSISY: "But don't they also have a large French community in Wisconsin?"
Me: "In the 1600s, I guess. But now I'm pretty sure a good chunk of people from Wisconsin speak English."
GIHSISY: "Do you still see him?"
Me: "No. Last I heard he was living in New York."
If you even mention anything about him speaking Dutch, I'm going to brain you with this tape dispenser.
GIHSISY: "That makes sense. There are probably more people there who speak his language."
Me: "Sure. There are a lot more English speakers in New York than there are in Cambridge."
GIHSISY: "I wonder why that is."