Watching Roller Coasters On Youtube

I sit in my metal chair or
        on the edge of my mattress watching
terrified strangers lock hands
                                  reassure each other that it's only going to be a minute
                                  stare into a future they volunteered for

I always pause before the ride starts
               imagine their journey through the line
an hour
fifteen minutes
some reasonable time to wait for joy
but to slough through a queue
                        with a choke of florida in your throat
                        knowing only the impending velocity of why awaits you
I can't imagine shackling my time for that

Unpause

As the minimum wage scowl and sunstroke straps them in or
                                                                             lowers the bar around them
I stand up
  crack my knuckles

It is always two people
                     one giggling squirrel
                     the other manga-eyed and
                                       popping all their joints out of their sockets
 
It's not always a simple roller coaster 
       sometimes a goliath slingshot
                           twirling marionette strings
For these rides
                  there is no slow climb before regret
                  there is only one person screaming
                                         one passing out
                                                coming to
                                                screaming
                                                passing out

No one who pays to scream and pass out
             should ever cast judgment on the bsdm scene again

My breath is unfathomable

If I ever become idle bloat
                             like stinking moneyed
                                     filthy bourgeois
I'm going to set up my cameras by the midway exits
                      film the aftermath
                              the lurch of tectonic mortality

I don't want to be a paleontologist of fear
but an archaeologist of survival
with a focus on illogical risk
                            specifically
                            those who seek to caress death for reasons
                                                        other than love or money
                            people who want to let some stranger throw them at
but not actually into                                                                                      the atmosphere
                            people who want to be belted into a tracked car
                                                                     going nowhere at dangerous speeds