Ten Meals I Don't Remember Eating

after a prompt from Nicole Homer

1. I was halfway through
an unremarkable sandwich
when you started flirting
with my oblivion I covered
my mouth to
thank you for complimenting a performance
i'd just given Unaware
you were in the midst of your own
elaborate dance

2. It was far too early
for us to be easter dinner but
you and i and two roommates and one ex
roommate and one friend sat in the living
room And god
i don't remember what we were
eating then either
I remember you
singing as you washed the dishes 
how i was already so used to
hearing your voice

3. Casual lunch
Everything head shake and chuckle
Your unexpected aunt 
found us in the food court
thrilled at your smile
You introduced me as your 
coworker 
though we didn't work
at the same company

4. You left
a bowl of oatmeal in the living room
while i was asleep Somehow
it was knocked off the table
Creating a small marsh
for our impatient roommate to
wade through Birds
sang profanity
filled hardcore about your sloth
You sketched a video
Regendered your image to
fit his lyrics

5. It was my fault
for laughing at the decade between us
      choosing to see it
as a winding road and not a cliff
you felt you were always dangling
from
I never changed my mouth
for you Didn't see 
you as anything but actual
peer 
So when an IHoP full of poets
reminisced drug trauma
                     mescaline movie premiers
                     acid catsitting
                     the taste of heroin in the back of a throat
and you interrupted 
with the time you thought you might have overdosed
on flintstone vitamins
How was I to keep from laughing?

6. I never actually remember precisely
what we were eating It was your birthday
None but one of my friends was still
encouraging our relationship
It was a liquid birthday
and it was deep but never threatening

7. The taqueria was filled
with three legged chairs
but no customers but us
                                       our roommates and
                                       their friend
                                       who i knew you were fucking
                                       who they knew you were fucking
                                       who they were terrified that i would realize
                                               you were fucking
You made some racist joke
about mexican food and gastroenterology
which you defended by the large volume of ignorant
people who misidentified you as mexican
As a group we laughed
not at the joke but at your passionate declaration
of its inoffense
I'm choosing to believe you our roommate
said but that's only because you mentioned shitting
and talking shit is the only subject
you appear to be knowledgeable about

8. Six years after we'd given up
                               we agreed to dinner
but only drank as if we hadn't grown older or
                                                                  apart

9. It was the ninth anniversary of when we met
which i only remember because we met
on my birthday I was so in love
                                      with someone who hated you
I don't remember what you sent back to the kitchen
or which overpriced mistake
i chose to keep everybody comfortable
We were always so turned
earth when our mouths were empty

10. I didn't acknowledge your birthday
even though you'd just moved back into my apartment
I was already afraid
we were line dance at a wedding the hosts regretted inviting us to
               Mouths full of bland cake and
                                         sparkling wine  
               always something from the buffet
​                                                to keep us from having to speak