I Heard A Vibe Buzz Ere It Died
About a week ago, I hosted an erotic reading in Amherst, MA. In addition to many fine writers of erotic poetry, there were a series of erotic poetry games and quizzes, including "Find Emily's Libido", wherein competitors were given Emily Dickinson poems and asked to "smut them up".
I didn't think it was fair to ask three random people in the audience to participate in a game I could not do myself, so during the portion of the show they were given to write their poems, I decided to rewrite Dickinson's "I Heard A Fly Buzz When It Died".
Here is the original poem:
I heard a Fly buzz - when I died -
The Stillness in the Room
Was like the Stillness in the Air -
Between the Heaves of Storm -
The Eyes around - had wrung them dry -
And Breaths were gathering firm
For that last Onset - when the King
Be witnessed - in the Room -
I willed my Keepsakes - Signed away
What portion of me be
Assignable - and then it was
There interposed a Fly -
With Blue - uncertain - stumbling Buzz -
Between the light - and me -
And then the Windows failed - and then
I could not see to see -
Here is my version, in its shameful entirety:
I heard a vibe buzz - ere it died
The shiver round my form
was like the shudder 'twixt two friends -
while - accidentally - watching porn
The batt'r'es wanked - til they were spent -
The motor forgot its joy
Vibrator now just dildo - blue
Just ancillary - toy
I willed my fingers shake it hence -
No concern for batt'ry acid -
Still - my partner's face betrayed no passion -
He remained entirely flaccid
With no buzz left to give my partner
tickling - tantric - tantrum
I hand no choice - but to bend him o'er -
No choice - except to ent'r him
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