Your Body Sulfur Potential Take 2 1/2

​Together we skipped rollercoasters across the kama sutra
Fingers conquering the fear of rebellion 
Giggling Precioso
Your body 
Ice cream
Your memory
Light off your braces
Sweetbread 
Ashes 
The paper I gave her
I promised 

Last night I kept a promise I couldn’t make
I caught your reflection in your mother’s eyes and let it go
Your mother who used to call me Precioso and bake me sweetbreads
Your mother who didn’t know you called me Precioso when I held you
Last night I looked into her eyes & told her she could keep the intangible concept of you
Lock your precious memory in knick-knacks and photographs
Keep it silent while gossipy neighbors weighed the balance of sexuality and marriage
She could keep your memory
Straight 
Silent
Obedient 
Her son who never loved me
The boy whose name she could no longer wrap her lips around
No longer Precioso when I told her your last wish

Your mother never sweetbread
The inlet I skipped your memory across
Your body never Precioso

You said you wanted your body burned to ink
Enough ink to fill every book on my shelf
But bodies don’t burn to liquid
So your body was the paper we scribbled our names on
Your body has always been paper
Thin Reflective Flammable
The fear of being Precioso skipped ice cream down your fingers
Your rebellion ink scribbled sulfur 
You always smelled like the potential of fire
My sulfur crowned lover 
Never one for catty comebacks
Taking beatings because that was all some people had to give

Your body broken ashes 

I never wanted you for your body
But this morning I picked up the fact of your ashes
Couldn’t remember where I was supposed to put them 
Because I gave your memory to your mother
Your last words were a rollercoaster 
We conquered our fear of rollercoasters together but I don’t have you anymore
I have your body but your body was never much use to me without the rest of you
So this afternoon I swallowed your ashes with sweetbread tears 
Because I couldn’t remember the touch of your fingers my body your lips my body
I choked down your ashes so I could feel you when I touched myself
But I never wanted you for your body Precioso
I wanted to be the light reflected off your braces when you smiled
The stone you skipped across inlets

I am melting ice cream down rebellion

The last word your mother said to you was faggot
She knew you were destined for flames
The virus was burning you from the inside
Her words left scorch marks on the bridge of your nose
So you decided to be ashes for me
The one act of rebellion to be allowed
You would not sacrifice your body for her religion
No closed casket circus for a God you no longer trusted
Refused to be buried between the father who beat you and the mother you beat to the grave
You survived just enough time made just enough will to make your last words clear
“Here mama, if all I am to you is faggot
Then let me burn”

We are rollercoasters Precioso
Together we conquered your mother
Baked your faggot sulfur potential into sweetbread she couldn’t swallow
Your last clear words skipping rebellion I never wanted from your braces

I want your memory my religion back 
My photographs are melting ice cream
You are your mother's lost knicknacks
To her you are sweetbread Precioso
To her you are obedient memory
All I have of you is ashes
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 Leave a comment | 11 comments
Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 05:34 am (UTC)
asthecrowfliesdamn, A, this is so good!
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:44 pm (UTC)
akamuuThanks, I've tweaked it some more since the post. The build up to the end has been irritating me. Got a chance to perform it tonight at Iyeoka's CD release and got some good feedback. Anything you would change?
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 06:49 am (UTC)
white_swanThat is a FANTASTIC poem. I really wish I could hear you read it. Could you phone post??
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:45 pm (UTC)
akamuuI don't have a paid account. 8(

Soon, though. I hope.
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 07:44 am (UTC)
just_jeff: beautiful.i love the gonna-say-it-whatever-it-costs energy of this, and all the edge, and all the strength. thank you.
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:46 pm (UTC)
akamuu: Re: beautiful.Thanks. You have a package coming your way soon. Be on the look out in about two weeks.
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC)
smjorBrilliant. You are missed back here in the heat of the desert. Slams just aren't the same without you.
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:47 pm (UTC)
akamuuThanks. It feels like an ice age ago that I was out there. Probably because it's so fucken cold here.
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Thu, Apr. 1st, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
smjorNow is the weather there really as bad as all that? Because I've been considering moving to the east coast. The person who wants me to move there is trying to convince me that it's nothing bad at all, but I have my doubts. I think he might be sugar-coating the reality of the ice and snow in an attempt to secure my move.
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 06:48 pm (UTC)
mskittiefaceThis is really really beautiful, honey-honey. When you comin' back out to the Bay? I wanna hear this.
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Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:50 pm (UTC)
akamuuTrips out west are expensive. It will be at least a year before I head back on the road. I guess you'll just have to come visit me in Cambridge.