Together we skipped rollercoasters across the kama sutra
Fingers conquering the fear of rebellion Giggling Precioso Your body Ice cream Your memory Light off your braces Sweetbread Ashes The paper I gave her I promised Last night I kept a promise I couldn’t make I caught your reflection in your mother’s eyes and let it go Your mother who used to call me Precioso and bake me sweetbreads Your mother who didn’t know you called me Precioso when I held you Last night I looked into her eyes & told her she could keep the intangible concept of you Lock your precious memory in knick-knacks and photographs Keep it silent while gossipy neighbors weighed the balance of sexuality and marriage She could keep your memory Straight Silent Obedient Her son who never loved me The boy whose name she could no longer wrap her lips around No longer Precioso when I told her your last wish Your mother never sweetbread The inlet I skipped your memory across Your body never Precioso You said you wanted your body burned to ink Enough ink to fill every book on my shelf But bodies don’t burn to liquid So your body was the paper we scribbled our names on Your body has always been paper Thin Reflective Flammable The fear of being Precioso skipped ice cream down your fingers Your rebellion ink scribbled sulfur You always smelled like the potential of fire My sulfur crowned lover Never one for catty comebacks Taking beatings because that was all some people had to give Your body broken ashes I never wanted you for your body But this morning I picked up the fact of your ashes Couldn’t remember where I was supposed to put them Because I gave your memory to your mother Your last words were a rollercoaster We conquered our fear of rollercoasters together but I don’t have you anymore I have your body but your body was never much use to me without the rest of you So this afternoon I swallowed your ashes with sweetbread tears Because I couldn’t remember the touch of your fingers my body your lips my body I choked down your ashes so I could feel you when I touched myself But I never wanted you for your body Precioso I wanted to be the light reflected off your braces when you smiled The stone you skipped across inlets I am melting ice cream down rebellion The last word your mother said to you was faggot She knew you were destined for flames The virus was burning you from the inside Her words left scorch marks on the bridge of your nose So you decided to be ashes for me The one act of rebellion to be allowed You would not sacrifice your body for her religion No closed casket circus for a God you no longer trusted Refused to be buried between the father who beat you and the mother you beat to the grave You survived just enough time made just enough will to make your last words clear “Here mama, if all I am to you is faggot Then let me burn” We are rollercoasters Precioso Together we conquered your mother Baked your faggot sulfur potential into sweetbread she couldn’t swallow Your last clear words skipping rebellion I never wanted from your braces I want your memory my religion back My photographs are melting ice cream You are your mother's lost knicknacks To her you are sweetbread Precioso To her you are obedient memory All I have of you is ashes Link Leave a comment | 11 comments Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 05:34 am (UTC) asthecrowfliesdamn, A, this is so good! Link Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:44 pm (UTC) akamuuThanks, I've tweaked it some more since the post. The build up to the end has been irritating me. Got a chance to perform it tonight at Iyeoka's CD release and got some good feedback. Anything you would change? Link Parent - Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 06:49 am (UTC) white_swanThat is a FANTASTIC poem. I really wish I could hear you read it. Could you phone post?? Link Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:45 pm (UTC) akamuuI don't have a paid account. 8( Soon, though. I hope. Link Parent - Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 07:44 am (UTC) just_jeff: beautiful.i love the gonna-say-it-whatever-it-costs energy of this, and all the edge, and all the strength. thank you. Link Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:46 pm (UTC) akamuu: Re: beautiful.Thanks. You have a package coming your way soon. Be on the look out in about two weeks. Link Parent - Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 02:08 pm (UTC) smjorBrilliant. You are missed back here in the heat of the desert. Slams just aren't the same without you. Link Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:47 pm (UTC) akamuuThanks. It feels like an ice age ago that I was out there. Probably because it's so fucken cold here. Link Parent - Thread - Reply Thu, Apr. 1st, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC) smjorNow is the weather there really as bad as all that? Because I've been considering moving to the east coast. The person who wants me to move there is trying to convince me that it's nothing bad at all, but I have my doubts. I think he might be sugar-coating the reality of the ice and snow in an attempt to secure my move. Link Parent - Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 06:48 pm (UTC) mskittiefaceThis is really really beautiful, honey-honey. When you comin' back out to the Bay? I wanna hear this. Link Thread - Reply Wed, Mar. 31st, 2004 10:50 pm (UTC) akamuuTrips out west are expensive. It will be at least a year before I head back on the road. I guess you'll just have to come visit me in Cambridge.
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