Who Let The Penguins Out?

​I have decided to move again. I can't take the cold so I'm going to move to a warmer clime like Siberia, Moscow, of the North fricken Pole. It was twenty degrees warmer today in Moscow than it was in Boston. When I went to open my front door today, my hand broke off on the knob. You read that right. I am now typing one handed, and not because LJ entries turn me on.

I went to the aquarium today and asked one of the workers if he would consider letting the penguins out to play. I think he thought he was coming on to him, though I'm not sure what "letting the penguins out" means in perv. The sea lion I could see, but penguins?

When I'm a millionnaire I'm going to buy me some Emperor Penguins and let them loose on the streets of Boston. Sure, they look cute on TV, but imagine walking down the street on your way to the grocery store and seeing a flock of pissed off four foot tall penguins waddling towards you. Everyone assumes penguins just eat fish, but there's not a lot of human flesh around in the Emperor Penguins natural habitat. In fact, it gets so cold in Antarctica that every type of bird migrates except for the Emperors. They're some hardcore fucken penguins. I bet if I start feeding them human flesh, they'd develop a taste for it and start running amock in a way that even Alfred Hitchcock couldn't imagine.



The new Opus strip wouldn't be very popular then, would it?
Current Mood:  cold
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 Leave a comment | 8 comments
Thu, Jan. 15th, 2004 10:59 pm (UTC)
eviljunglistdo be do be do
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Thu, Jan. 15th, 2004 11:10 pm (UTC)
akamuuexactly!

BTW, don't know if CFG gave you the message, but your poem is in one of my notebooks in one of the boxes in CFG's living room. I remember liking it, but with so much else going on, I don't remember much else.

Once I get all of my stuff back, I'll let you know my thoughts on it.
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Fri, Jan. 16th, 2004 11:23 am (UTC)
eviljunglistI asked him about it on Saturday and he mentioned nothing...I don't know if you had said something to him after that..I got really scared when I had left a comment in one of your previous entries asking what you'd thought and you never responded...I was like, "my god, did it suck that bad?" lol..I mean I knew it was kinda cheesy but...hehe
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Fri, Jan. 16th, 2004 11:49 am (UTC)
akamuuNot cheesy, I'm just an ass. Read the comment, went looking for the poem, realized where it was & then forgot to get back to you. I'll try not to let it happen again.
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Fri, Jan. 16th, 2004 09:31 am (UTC)
akamuu: Re: how about Austin?Alas, Oz saw this post and started beating me with his frozen slippers. If I move one more time, NPS is going to make me act as slammaster for the new Antarctic team. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get those Emperor Penguins to follow the three minute rule?
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Fri, Jan. 16th, 2004 01:16 pm (UTC)
asthecrowflies: it might be the frost on the window, but....i'm pretty sure i saw one of those suckers in the birdfeeder this morning...

(ps - thankyou for the Picasso head! totally cute!)
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Sun, Jan. 18th, 2004 07:56 pm (UTC)
farklebarkleEmperor penguins are badass.