Slam Beleaguered

​Before the smoking ban in Cambridge, every time I came home from the Lizard Lounge, I reeked of cigarettes. Pity there is no politics ban in Providence. I may have to burn these clothes.

Tonight was Boston Cantab (me, anselicious Samantha & Jeff Taylor) vs. Boston Lizard Lounge (Inphynite, Tranzit Thawt & Adina) vs. Providence (Carlos, androidlustre & Jive Poetic).

Before I even get to the slam, let me say AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH. Bush is bad. War is evil. I will be voting in this election. I am really fucken tired of poets at slams telling other poets to be politically active.

After the open mic there was a group of "special guests." While they were all dressed in clown makeup, I am reasonably sure that said guests were Sage Francis, titoandshark, and Bernard Dolan. Bernard played BombsAway the Clown who shouted at us about being pussies and faggots for not supporting Bush, while the other two danced (which, ok, was kinda hot) and showed one of the decapitations on the TV while patriotic music played. This went on FOREVER. It also killed what little energy was in the room. Artistically, it was very well done (they ended up bringing a 4th person on stage..a naked guy in a hood who they then flung shit at, raped and killed before our eyes...so Su never got to bare her breast in Boston, but everyone in Providence got a front row seat for snuff theatre...I really wish there's been someone there to veto that shit.

Poor Jared, who did not know what the guests had planned, became fuddled to the point that he wanted to cancel the slam completely. But we trudged on. I wasn't going to leave the venue on that note, so in lieu of mstegosaurus & Simone, I became NESL guy getting judges, explaining the rules, etc. while Jared MCed.


Carlos from Providence opened with (surprise, surprise) a political poem about not being Columbian American
anselicious followed with his Johnny Rotten poem, "Deadbeat"
and Marlon & Chris Did a 2 voiced P poem which perhaps should have practiced rePeatedly until the purveyors of said poem were proficient in their performance, it came across piss poor and its point was perplexing.

After round 1:
AS220 got 3
Cantab had 8
Lizsrd had 7

Samantha opened round 2 for us with her toothpaste poem, the only overtly funny poem of the night.
Adina followed with a poem about how she is living in dreams & reality is hard.
Jive did a poem about insanity. First time I didn't hear him do "Grapes." Didn't care.

AS220 = 10
Lizard= 10
Cantab= 16

Marlon did "The Girl Who Wasn't There" I'm still not sure where she went.
androidlustre did a piece I hadn't heard before "You Should Be My Boyfriend." Loved it. Not surprised.
Ansel & I won the only round for The Cantab with "Heaven As a Record Label"

AS220 = 15
Lizard= 17
Cantab= 20

AS220 did a 3 voice piece called "You Are" which I'm fairly certain was improved.
Jeff Taylor was our Cantab ringer & he did...something abstract about words on a billboard.
Chris pretended to be "The Respectable Guy."

AS220 = 21
Lizard= 21
Cantab= 28

I did "Final Draft for The Moment."
Adina did a poem about super mom.
Jive explained why he wrote. Thanks for that. I was wondering.

Lizard= 27
AS220 = 28
Cantab= 33

Chris followed it up with a poem about why he wrote. He has about 27 poems about why he writes. They all have the word slam in their somewhere. Hmmmmmmm.
Carlos then did a preachy political poem (which was well written) followed by androidlustre reminding us all (in case we'd forgotten from earlier) to go vote. Boooooooooooooo.
Samantha closed out the evening with a haiku about Bush. Booooooooooooooooo.

Final results:
Lizard wins with a 32
AS220 runs up with a 35
& The Cantab gets strippes and fitted for the hood with a 39.


While I was ranting and grumbling on the way home, someone from Houghton Mifflin sent me an e-mail letting me know they want to publish my book. 

Elation.
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Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004 06:18 pm (local)
bajatierraWhile I was ranting and grumbling on the way home, someone from Houghton Mifflin sent me an e-mail letting me know they want to publish my book. 

Wha-wha-what? 

Congrats!

Criminy -- tell us more.
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Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004 08:34 pm (local)
akamuuThe Poetry Editor/Assistant to the Publisher and I are meeting for lunch this week. I *think* it's regarding "All My Exes Live In Sex Flicks" but since she's the poetry editor, I'm not 100% sure.

More news as it develops (hopefully at Polaroid speed)
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Fri, Jun. 25th, 2004 01:13 am (local)
asthecrowflies: that's awesome!you! rock!
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Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004 07:03 pm (local)
mstegosaurusHey, congrats!

(On the book part, I mean. Who cares about the rest?)

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Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004 08:35 pm (local)
akamuuThanks.
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Fri, Jun. 25th, 2004 12:26 am (local)
mstegosauruserm, yeah....

Wholly unrelated: what are you doing Saturday, and would you like to be doing Neraj's show at the Cantab? I committed to doing it, but that was before I got all up in the babysitting action. 

Here're the details:

"The World's Best Variety Showdown - This show is a TV style variety show where performers of all types (Musicians, Comedians, Groups, Solo performers, Clowns, Jugglers, Magicians, Singers, Rappers, anything at all) can get up and try anything on stage that lasts up to 5 minutes, at the end of their performance some "celebrity" judges will rate them, and then at the end of the night the top scoring 2 performers will face off in a show down with an additional 2-5 minutes, and then the audience will vote for the winner. The winning act will be awarded a $25 cash prize.

The goal is for this show to become more of a variety show with comedy interspersed rather than an all comedic show. It's just launching so we don't really know how well the concept will work, but at the very least we think it's a cool idea to get performing artists of all kinds in a room and provide an opportunity for people to walk away with a cash prize for their art.

If you are interested in being considered for a performance slot in this show (I have an available slot for this Saturday, but you gotta let me know soon), please email me with some details about yourself, a general description of your act (musical, standup, mime, etc), and your contact information. If you would like to be a judge, be a guest co-host, or just get involved drop me a line! 

Performers should have two sets that last somewhere between 2-5 minutes ready in case you are one of the finalist acts. It's up to you how long your set it, but we need to know before hand, because we have a sound cue that signals the end of someone's set. The call time is 7pm, and the show begins at 8pm and will probably run until 9pm, at which point the brawl (which is another show that begins after a 5 minute intermission) will begin. "

I get the impression from him that very few performers are involved, thus the odds of walking away with the $s are very good.
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Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004 07:40 pm (local)
postmaudlinNO WAY!!! THAT"S AMAZING NEWS!!! Which book? Poetry? Novel?
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Thu, Jun. 24th, 2004 08:31 pm (local)
akamuuThat's the only bad part. I don't know. She's the poetry editor, but I got the distinct impression she was talking about The Insafemode book. I find out tomorrow. *bristle*

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Fri, Jun. 25th, 2004 12:38 am (local)
delisileYeah!!! Yeah!!! Yeah!!!
*little-happy-for-insafemode-dance-with-purple-pom-poms*
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Sat, Jun. 26th, 2004 03:49 pm (local)
johnpowersAre you really for real Adam? SO WHAT. I SAY SO WHAT? You don't like a scene, you either stay away or you work to change it. You don't like poets coming in and telling others you should vote? Well once again you miss the point. It's not about you. It's about the audience and yes, AS220 is a safe place to do something like the Bonzo Clown thing... but SO WHAT?

It's art. You don't like the art? You think the art is too EXTREEME? Well a lot of people said the same thing about slam not too long ago.

I haven't even seen Bernard in almost 6 months. He hasn't been to the slam in even longer. Strange stuff happens at slams. Strange stuff happens in Providence. It's the scene. It's what happens when you have an open scene.

I'm sorry you don't approve of politics. I'm sorry you're sick of poets trying to tell you what to think. You don't like it? Write yet another pointless poem about the poetry scene or start yet another feud with Michael Brown.

While you're at it, send me a long list of acceptable topics to hear so that you'll feel comfortable at the Providence Poetry Scene. We'll call it, Please Don't Talk About These Things or The Son of Words will write another poem about nothing.

better yet, just stay away. 

I am so sick of your trash talk about Providence. You either come to Providence and show them how it's done or you shut your mouth. You either vote and get Bush out of office or you shut the hell up about how bad he is.

"Veto that shit?" Veto art in an open space? You're the one who needs a veto.

Yes, please, once again, I request the Adam Stone list of acceptable poetry topics.

You, my once friend, have grown into an old grumpy moron. You're everything you used to hate. You're attitude is everything that I hate about poetry.

The next time I see you you can either apologise for being a moron, or you can't. Either way you're welcome to perform in my open space. With only one way you'll regain my respect.
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Sat, Jun. 26th, 2004 04:46 pm (local)
akamuu: Logical FallaciesActually what bothers me, and just about every other poet that I've talked to, is that Providence has some incredibly talented writers (Alixa, Bernard, Jared, Sage, now Carlos, Corrina, etc.) who have written some incredible work (St. Joan, Ripping Cables, everything I've heard from Alixa, and Corrina) but they spend their time on the mic just preaching at us. Not performing poetry.

Carlos and Jared both have very well written political poems (which are very much not my thing), Carlos does his (woooha) but at The Cantab at the first NESL bout Jared went off on the Boston scene about how Boston was the most racist place north of the Mason Dixon line. He then took a swipe at every poet who went before him. Am I angry at him about it? No. He's just being Jared. Do I have a right to gripe about it? Yes. As much as he has a right to insult all of us. You can't really think that I legitimately expect Providence to ban political poems?

As for not liking art, of course there is some art I don't like. Are you telling me you enjoy all art? You've never disliked any art. Wow. 

Did I think the BombsAway the Clown routine was too extreme? Yes. I also think your response is rather extreme. My opinion.

What are acceptable topics? All of them. I prefer a variety in the night. A night full of all poets writing about toothpaste would have pissed me off as much as a full night of politics and why I write what I write. But what pisses me off most is that these aren't poets whose work I don't respect or who I don't like on a personal level doing poems I can't stand. These are poets who I like and whose poetry I love shouting politics at me for several hours instead of letting me enjoy their writing.

I'm curious why you put "Veto that shit" in quotes. Read the post and tell me where I used that phrase?

As for "You either come to Providence and show them how it's done or you shut your mouth. You either vote and get Bush out of office or you shut the hell up about how bad he is." That's my fucken point. Go out there, protest during your protests, etc. Stop shouting at me, who also protests Bush, abot how I should protest Bush. I do. But I don't spend my time on stage telling other people that they should protest Bush.

"You, my once friend, have grown into an old grumpy moron. You're everything you used to hate. You're attitude is everything that I hate about poetry." I'm sorry that you find my opinions so hideous, but they're my opinions. There's a Jack McCarthy reference there that I'll let dangle. However, I haven't become everything I used to hate. I never said I hated people who didn't like types of performance. Never. In fact, I surround myself with very opinionated people. Some who agree with my opinions, some who disagree. I don't hate either group. There very few people I hate.

As for your suggestion that I start "yet another feud with MIchael Brown," there has been only one. A very long one, granted, but one that I find pretty justified. Two people did incredibly stupid things that hurt three people who didn't do anything wrong. One apologized, the other shifted the blame to everyone else. We're past it now, thanks for your concern.

I'm not sure you will be seeing me in Providence again. Through no fault of you, or any member of your poetry scene, every time I go there ridiculous drama ensues. Like this conversation for instance.

As for my "pointless poem about poetry," I have one. You don't? Good for you. I also have preachy political poems, funny surreal poems, sincere love poems, insincere break up poems, eulogies, sonnets, suicide sestinas, etc. This doesn't put me in any special minority. Many of the poets that I respect (and many I don't) have just as vast a catologue, I just wish they'd use it more often.
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Sat, Jun. 26th, 2004 05:15 pm (local)
johnpowers: Re: Logical Fallacies"...I really wish there's been someone there to veto that shit."

Your words - your words that pissed me off.

The last time I saw you in Providence you read a poem that dissed Providence and Jared. In your poem, you said nothing about the Jared 'came up to providence and called us all racists' - so the last time I head of you at all was this one poem about my scene being all politics.

The very next thing I hear from you is this post saying once again how Providence is all about politics and you thought someone should have been around (meaning me) to veto that shit (meaning the Bonzo the Clown act).

Forgive me if I flew off the handle, but once again I don't see how you can honestly complain about Providence being too political. It's like saying the poetry doesn't rhyme enough.

You should show them how it's done or not show up.

I honestly am so mad at you right now, it's irrational. I can't explain it. Perhaps it's my reading your OPINIONS wrongly or perhaps its my own frustration at everyone who bitches how things should be different but choose the easy way out and just stay away.

AS220 has such great possibilites and has helped to produce some very tatented poets (or at least given them a sweet place to perform), it's too bad people like yourselves (amongst many) have to throw around hate. Because that's what your opinions were - hateful. Sure, I should have responded with more diplomacy, but I am sick of disguised hate. 

Perhaps it's your grudge from 2000 showing through. Perhaps you don't even realize it. Perhaps I used to be on your side in the matter. Perhaps I shouldn't be so protective of my scene's reputation.

Perhaps.

All I know is, I became VERY angry at reading your opinion. Perhaps it's because I held in in too high of a regard. Perhaps I had hoped better of someone who's work I once respected, because of the two poems of yours that still stick in my mind, once was the one about poetry, and I thought it was pretty good. The other was the one that dissed Jared and my slam... and I let that one go.

I chose to not let go your live journal that dissed several people as well as my scene. If that's too extreem, that's fine. You're certainly allowed to post your opinions in your journal, but until you turn off your comments or just delete anything I reply, I am allowed to respond.

Once again, you are always welcome to perform in my open uncensored space - grudge or not. I just ask you to apologize for insulting me and my scene before I respoect you. Never the less, I'll still welcome your voice and your opinion.

I just may have to tell you personally how I feel about what you have had to say.
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Sat, Jun. 26th, 2004 05:45 pm (local)
akamuu"I just may have to tell you personally how I feel about what you have had to say." Agreed.

You're also right about the "veto that shit" line. I responded too fast, didn't catch it. It's in reference to a piece that was vetoed at the Cantab NESL bout a couple of weeks ago because a breast would be exposed (it was not, for the record, vetoed by Michael Brown). Someone else's drama entirely. I did not in any way mean you when I said someone should "veto that shit". I was referring to The Cantab owner, which, I realize, is completely unapparent to anyone who wasn't there, but many of the people who were there read my journal or this entry. My fault for not being clear.

I did not mean to suggest that the slam poems performed that night should be vetoed. I do, however, wish I'd walked out during Bobzo's show. It put a lot of people off. It threw the host. We discussed not going on with the slam. I was the one who pushed that we should go on with the slam, because I didn't want that to be the only thing I took home from Providence.

I'll admit, I debated doing the "Hacks" poem (the one you don't like) but decided it served no purpose that night except to piss people off, so I did something completely unrelated.

If I had the finances and time to go down to Providence and "do something about it", I would. One of the things that pissed me off the most in my very brief tenure as Mesa slammaster was that everyone down there bitched about the scene but only a handful of people did anything about it, and I watched that handful become the people that everyone else attacked. I understand your frustration with people not putting their money where their mouth is. Had I the money, I would. Unfortunately, all I have right now is mouth.
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Sat, Jun. 26th, 2004 05:49 pm (local)
akamuu: Re: Subconcious ProvidenceIn no way do I hold you or anyone else in Providence responsible for what happened in 2000. Sure, I wish things had been handled differently, but that was a Boston issue that happened to take place in the city of Providence.
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Sun, Jun. 27th, 2004 04:15 am (local)
girlsnqueers: Congratulations But I'm Curious...If it's the Insafemode material they're interested in, whose name is going to be on that book?
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Mon, Jun. 28th, 2004 04:14 am (local)
akamuu: Re: Congratulations I'm BiCurious...No psuedonyms for me. It will be a more fictionalized deal than The Insafemode entries, so it will be the names of the other guilty that are changed.
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Mon, Jun. 28th, 2004 06:18 am (local)
j_cannibalI don't want to get into that debate over art and politics. I don't take any issue with what you said. But that clown piece sounds amazing, and I wish I had seen it.

As someone who has done a lot of unorthodox stuff at slam venues--and been both praised and ostracized for it--I admire the attempt at radical spectacle, even at the expense of the smooth-running evening. For the most part, slam has become very stagnant, even more so--I think--than written poetry. I'm not saying that what those clowns (haha) did belonged in a slam venue, I'm just saying I would have enjoyed it.