The Crooked Treehouse
  • Tips From The Bar
  • Honest Conversation Is Overrated
  • Popcorn Culture
  • Comically Obsessed
  • Justify Your Bookshelves

Not To Sound Like Yolanda Wilkinson Or Anything, But...

1/11/2004

0 Comments

 
​Is there a polite way to tell an ex that you've seen them in a porn video? That the experience will keep you from ever participating in porn again for the rest of your life (or at least until the weekend)? Is there some sort of X-chip you can put in your computer/TV that automatically screens out anyone you've slept with?

I mean apart from that one month, five years ago, I haven't exactly been whoring around. Am I at risk of seeing more exes in sex flicks? Granted, if there was an ex I could imagine being in the porn industry, it would be this one. All cock, no brains, no self-respect, less money.

& yea, he was not very convincing. In a porno!!!! His one line (besides the superflous "Oh God"s and "Yes, yes, faster, faster, mmmmmph"s) was "So, do you want to throw me on the table and fuck me?" How hard a line is that to get out (no puns please)?

I guess in some ways I'm prudish. In a conversation with MAMIP the other day, he said the reason it took so long for anything to happen between us was because I failed a test. My dating life is like high school, but with less facial hair and sex.

Back before I knew he was gay, but after I'd begun hoping he was, he started talking about how he had been dating this chick for over a month and she wasn't putting out. He didn't really love her, he just wanted a booty call, and he thought they'd both understood that, so he wanted to know if he should continue to date her.

Before anyone calls him an asshole, the girl did not exist. He was prying me to find out whether I'd be opposed to people who booty-called while they were still looking for Mr./Miss Right. I said if he was just looking for a booty-call than he should really spell it out so that she could either decide to take him up on the offer or begin hating him for being such a fuckwad and toying with her emotions.

He has yet to divulge what the proper response was, but that, apparently, wasn't it. 

Over three years later, we've had an interesting on-again, off-again fling. But now that I'm back from AZ, and he's about a quarter of the way out of the closet, I think we might be able to make this work. Mayhaps I'm due for a new non-bitter love poem. Or maybe I'll just invite him over for a booty call and we can watch one of my exes get reamed on TV.
Current Mood:  I'm sorry you had to read that
Current Music: DMB "Typical Situation
Link
 Leave a comment | 2 comments
Sun, Jan. 11th, 2004 10:49 am (UTC)
kattullusThat's the most interesting post I've read in weeks. So rife with subtext and subterfuge and other things that hide under the ocean waiting for someone to tell them to blanket the world in radiation...
Link
Thread - Reply
Sun, Jan. 11th, 2004 04:56 pm (UTC)
chris_wassI think that your answer to the question is the right one.
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.

    Archives

    September 2005
    June 2005
    May 2005
    March 2005
    February 2005
    December 2004
    November 2004
    October 2004
    September 2004
    August 2004
    July 2004
    June 2004
    April 2004
    March 2004
    February 2004
    January 2004
    December 2003

    Categories

    All
    Drama
    Family
    Gay
    Ken Hunt
    Mesa
    Poem
    Politics
    Pop Culture
    Random Inanity
    Sean
    Slam
    The Waiting Game
    Worcester

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Tips From The Bar
  • Honest Conversation Is Overrated
  • Popcorn Culture
  • Comically Obsessed
  • Justify Your Bookshelves