From Person I To Person U

​I woke up on the first day
peter painting the complete works of picasso on my fingernails
he tells me that every thing you've ever loved is waiting for you in heaven
except for the thing that you loved most
he says you'd think most people would lose their lovers
but often it's more mundane things:
fame
anonimity
masturbation
an italian leather sofa

I woke up on the first day
angels kissing sweetbread breath into me
I climbed to the top of the mountain of men who loved me
went fatty dipping in the cherry coke ocean
I couldn't find you anywhere

I woke up on the first day
rusell said it was time for me to start working to earn my keep
something I never realized I loved
I took a job organizing the holy filing cabinets
a room full of sulfur desires and secrets never spoken
tomorrow I'll look for your name in my file

I woke up on the first day 
next to wyatt who'd told me he loved me more than anything in life
we fuck for hours
and for the first time his tongue is satin
acid free
his file says he sacrificed his venom
what did I lose?

I woke up on the first day
on a boat made of chicken fingers
floating on a sea of honey mustard
today's job was to sort conundrums
the rulebook says
if person i loves person u above everything else
but person u cherished spotlight time fishing for compliments more than he loved person i
then the two shall be joined wholly for holy eternity
but while person u will spend each day frustrated
that person i doesn't remember who person u is
person i will be content to be loved by anyone
I write the equation in the bull pupil of guernica on my left thumbnail

I woke up on the first day 
skipping seashells across the fields of your braces
and for the first time wondered where you were

I woke up on the first day
nervous about my new job
organizing the holy filing cabinets
I was turning my torn cuticles over my tongue
when I noticed the complete works of picasso were painted on my fingernails
in the bovine pupil of guernica I saw an equation I'd written the other day
there have been other days?

I woke up today
scanned my fingernails for information
today at work I found my file with your name in it
cross referenced it with your file
my name was there

I woke up today
between the pages of a Tom Robbins book
I saw Jason wandering around an unnecessary comma
he didn't remember me
I'm touched
at work I found a loophole
if I squint I can almost see you through it

I woke up today 
to the sound of graham playing bright eyes songs on an acoustic guitar
he was flat
the guitar was sharp
I rode a cloud of your ashes to work
was pleased to remember how much I loved blank paper and typing
I rewrote our files
you will never again experience the joy of being eaten by sharks
I will have to spend the rest of eternity not having the complete works of maya angelou read to me by telemarketers
you were standing next to me just like you've always been

Tomorrow I'll quit my job
and we'll go rappelling down the side of hundertwasser haus
drink from the misunderstood spring of crystal pepsi
but today I have to finish my work

First I stretch time around me like an elastic waistband
begin editing the desires of everyone who's ever lost anything important
jason will forget the lyrics to all of yoko ono's songs
my mother will never again be confronted by a rabid squirrel
person i won't even be able to imagine the word calculus
person u will sacrifice his love of having cookie jars dropped on his head by lecherous giraffes
and everyone inbetween gets back everything in life that they cherished in exchange for losing things like
the ability to spell onomatopoeia
guacamole enemas
bacne
remembering watching a loved one die
I'm in the middle of changing ray charles's desire 
from "to lose my blindness" to "to lose my car keys in a vat of bacon grease"
when The File Keeper enters
I sweat saccharine which you lick off

I woke up on the first day
we had enough arms to hold on to everything we've ever loved
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 Leave a comment | 5 comments
Thu, Aug. 12th, 2004 01:33 am (local)
kaphineWow. Thank you for writing and posting that.
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Thu, Aug. 12th, 2004 01:51 am (local)
akamuuThanks for reading it. 8)
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Thu, Aug. 12th, 2004 06:46 am (local)
chris_wassI enjoyed it too.
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Thu, Aug. 12th, 2004 06:04 am (local)
natawn84has that sndpaper beauty you just can't get enough of.
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Sat, Aug. 21st, 2004 07:50 am (local)
anseliciouswhy the hell didn't you do this at the slam? it's my favorite thing you've written in quite a while.