Fifteen Nickles In NYC

​Considering the still ongoing debauchle over my last post, I spent a great deal of time debating whether or not to post about The Grudge Match Slam. The last thing I want is Taylor posting "Fuck you, Adam Stone, you're everything that's wrong with slam poetry." in my LJ. Unfortunately, it's a risk I'll have to take because some issues between Urbana and The Cantab need to be addressed. Mainly, stop inviting us for slams when there's massive road and bridge construction on 90 and 95. You think I didn't notice that every time I've gone from Boston to NYC for an event at Bowery, I've spent several hours in insane traffic at two o'clock in the fucken morning? It's bullshit.

When I was living in Vermont, and coming down for events you didn't throw the traffic at us. Both the way to and from the event was clearer than Zima. When I've gone between Boston and The Nuyorican? Not an orange cone in sight. Next trip we'll have to fly out or find some way to veto that shit.



An open mic that begins with Roger Bonair-Agard and ends with Taylor Mali is bound to have some highlights. I didn't keep notes but I remember being disappointed that Michael Cirelli didn't read his own work, and i remember a woman who did a piece where she sang a parody of "My Country Tis of Thee" that flowed into a startlingly refreshing piece about how racism is bad. Did you know America was founded on slavery? That there were no reparations? That the police shot Amadou forty-one times? If you didn't you should have been there for her eye opening poem. As hot_rod_poet said when she was finished. "If I had a nickel for every cliché in that poem, I'd have at least fifteen nickels."

I'm sorry that I didn't get to see aurorabell or slomosexual perform, but anselicious showed up near the very end of the open, and we had to practice our group piece.

Team Cantab drew the one spot, so we opened with the Myopia group piece. They performed it well, but it failed to score as high as either of the sacrificial poets (Post Midnight and twosnoos' Mom!). We were in trouble. 25.5

Team Funny threw Ed Garcia up as their point person. He preached about "How Funny Saved My Life." Complete with Amen-style call & response "Can I get a knock? Knock?" "Can I get a who's there?" 23.7

Celena Glenn went first for Urbana reading a new poem about finding time to write while holding down a 40 hour a week job. 25.7

Austin closed out round 1 with Da Shade doing "Bamboo." Seeing Da Shade perform always makes me wish I could spend more time in Austin. He's a very dynamic performer, but I've only ever seen him perform "Bamboo." 25.4

After Rd.1 : 1.Urbana 2. Cantab 3. Austin 4. Funny


Shappy twosnoos got round 2 started by defending Shappy's funniness to a jury of his peers. The jury gave him a 22.1

George McKibbens went next for Urbana doing a brilliant piece about working at Bowery prompting non-Shappy twosnoos to say "Way to shit where you work." 23.3

elph8 brought the crimes of Janet Jackson's titty out into the open for the high score of the night. 29.1

anselicious and I closed out the round with "Heaven is a Bar." We got a standing O from Team austin,and a 24.7 from the judges.

After Rd.2: 1. Austin 2.Cantab 3. Urbana 4.Funny


I always look forward to hearing lowhumcrush. I was hoping she'd say "fuck the time" and do an entire feature's worth of poetry. Instead she did a haiku. Fortunately, it was the most entertaining haiku I've heard in ages. 24.0

If you closed your eyes during the third round, you may have heard an older white woman lament about not being a beautiful black woman. If you opened your eyes, you'd notice that the old white woman was, in fact,tonyjackson. Surreal. 27.8

Continuing with our group piece tradition, hot_rod_poet and Simone preformed a flawless "Hemingway." Neither the judges nor the audience seemed all that impressed. 24.7

I got distracted by the eternally babbling toddler during Team Funny's slot, so I didn't get the poet's name. A shame since he was the funniest of Team Funny, doing a piece about working with a bigot named (Doug? Greg?). 27.8

After Rd. 3: 1. Austin 2. Cantab 3. Funny 4. Urbana


I had hoped to hear Chris perform for Austin, but it was not meant to be. Again, the hollering toddler kept me from getting a name. Austin's fourth poet did an ode to Regie Gibson's "Jimi Christ." It was well performed, and not reeking of the original poem. As good as it was, though, it wasn't "Jimi Christ." 26.0

Team Cantab had this lovely idea of doing four group pieces. So on the way between Cambridge and NYC, Samantha and I scripted and memorized a "Reversing Vandalism" group piece. It would have killed at The Cantab. We weren't at The Cantab,so I suggested we fuck the group piece principle and just do something funny and performy. So Samantha anchored, getting us our highest scored performing "Toothpaste." 27.1

I didn't even know lx6 was in the country, nevermind a member of Team Funny. She did a meandering piece about ass pirates that she said "Does much better with (her) loop pedal and images behind her." She got heckled by some former Cantab poet (coughs: Rachel Hyman) about her "Canadian humor." Someone else shouted "Wooo! Vancouver!!!" Uhhh...lx6 is from Montreal. 22.2

I don't remember seeing Anise at the Indy finals last year. I was there the whole time. Wherever I was mentally last time our paths crossed, I was definitely in the same place this time. He did a kickass poem about not living in the 1950's. 28.4

At the end of the night: 1. Austin 2. Cantab 3.Urbana 4. Funny


Highlights of the night:

twosnoos' inspired hosting. Whether it be obsessing over a dachshund puppy or chastising a heckler ("Everyone's a bumper sticker tonight.")

Hanging out with Boston ex-pat, Rachel Hyman.

red_five and I were wearing the same shirt.

Team Austin's sportsmanship. Winning gracefully, after twosnoos introduced them by saying they were the only team in attendance not to have an NPS title. "Urbana has three, Boston has two, and Team Funny picked up one on E-Bay. Of course, Austin came in third last year, and we all know that was the best finals ever." Have I mentioned that I love twosnoos?
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Sat, Jul. 3rd, 2004 03:16 am (local)
thisisstaradam-- 
sou's house. 
1pm.
sunday. 
be there, yo :)

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Sat, Jul. 3rd, 2004 03:19 am (local)
loudpoet: Team FunnyUnless the lineup changed, their fourth member was Rich Villar of NYC louderARTS. Hopefully egos and the 5x3 don't screw him out of a chance to take the stage in St. Louis. It'd be nice for some of the new voices to get some exposure.
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Sat, Jul. 3rd, 2004 04:07 am (local)
akamuu: Re: Team FunnyLooks like the right guy. I hope he gets a chance to perform, as well. he was fantastic.
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Sat, Jul. 3rd, 2004 04:43 am (local)
kattulluswhat debauchle? (debauchery debacle?)
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Sat, Jul. 3rd, 2004 05:26 pm (local)
akamuuThere was some brouhaha over my cynical review of the last slam I attended. Because I said I didn't like political poetry, I was told that "(I) had become everything (I) hate" that I am "everything that's wrong with slam poetry" and then a few f*bombs were fired at me, while others took my specific comments about a very specific piece and decided to tear into old political issuesin Boston that have been dead and buried for a few years.

Meanwhile, someone posted my lj comments on a site that represents the venue I was referring to, and the people who did n over-the-top piece about freedom of speech proceeded to bash me for expressing my opinion.

The moral I hope to impart on them? People who live in glass houses shouldn't fling shit at each other.
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Sun, Jul. 4th, 2004 05:45 am (local)
kattullusouch!

that's the kind of shit people just shouldn't have to deal with.
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Wed, Jul. 7th, 2004 07:44 am (local)
johnpowersAdam Stone, you're everything that's wrong with slam poetry! Just kidding.

That mess is still going on... btw.

Anyway, I'd like to officially extend my public apology to you now that I've regained my sanity and gained some distance. If only I'd been there that night.
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Wed, Jul. 7th, 2004 08:52 am (local)
akamuuApology accepted, if you'll acceptmine. The post was intended to be my critique of a night, not a personal attack against anyone. There are many very good things going on in Providence, particularly the support of the youth movement that, Bernard is right, isn't happening here in Boston. Had I any interest in organizing, I'd try to amend that, but I'm 1/3 in the organization department, and need to get my own shit together before I start telling other people what to do.

Anyhow, no harm, no foul. If I wasn't open to the occasional rampaging tongue lashing, then I'd be more of a hypocrite than Michael Brown (in his, and Foghorn Leghorn's, own words "That's a joke, son.")