Bumm Bummm Bum Bummmm

​Tonight's finals were...finalish. As last week, Michael instructed the judges to focus more on the poetry than the performance. As last week, the judges complied. Were I a judge at this week's slam, I would have put the individuals in exactly the same order. /prologue

8th (tie/not making the team): Urban. Urban drew 4th for round one, and first for round two. He started out with an over-the-top perfectly stylized, energetic piece about Blueberries. He did not learn from his Bunny Suit mistake last week. With Michael's instructions, even brilliantly funny, well-choreographed fluff poems are not going to fly. While he wasn't the lowest score in the first round, I had a feeling he wasn't going to make the cut after the second round, especilally given that he had to go first. His second poem "The Poem I Wrote For You" was more written, and more from-the-heart than anything else I've heard him do. Alas, it was too late, and he tied for the bottom slot, eliminating him after round two.

8th (tie/not making the team): Nate Van Tyl drew third for round 1, and 2nd for round 2. He's always given me the impression of being all surface, no-depth. Slick, quick tongue-twisters at blistering speed is not what I need. He got socked by the judges to begin with, and then went 3:39, cutting him down to the second lowest score of the first round. The second round threw me for a loop. He started with a well-written (by him, I believe) song that was in perfect pitch with the ventelation system. When he began the spoken part of the poem, Little Joe Cook & The Thrillers upstairs started their set for the night. It was perfect. He did an amazing poem about gender roles and race play with minimal rhyme, and a lot of thought behind it. Had he done more things like this in previous weeks, I would have given him a lot more respect. Apparently he can be an excellent writer when he chooses to.

6th (not making the team): The Ryk. He drew 2nd for the 1st round, 3rd for both the 2nd and 3rd rounds, and 1st for the final round. He opened with Dracula, and it was stale. I mean like the half-eaten cookie you find under your bed when you move stale. It hurt to hear such a well-written poem performed so badly. More than just about anyone else in Boston, I wanted Ryk to make a team this year, and things were not looking good. Then in round 2, he brought out Godzilla, and he kicked it. I've never seen him perform it better, it was like watching a completely different performer. He went from the lowest score of the night to the second highest score of the 2nd round, making it past the cut by almost a full point. Round three he did an Elvis poem. I liked it, the judges were not so fond of it, and that pretty much sealed his fate. He did a beautiful piece about stargazing that I hadn't heard before in the final round, but it was all over by then. I really hope he makes Worcester...

5th: (making the team): anselicious brought out the punk rock tonight. He drew 5th, 4th, 5th, and 2nd. He opened with an old piece that I forgot about. I don't know how I forgot about it, it used to be is one of my favorites. The visual of firebombing the burgeoise with chemical filled condoms is just hehehehe. If it's not a true story, I don't want to know. In round two he did his tribute to dead rock star icons. I read it earlier today here, and you should, too. Round three did a two part psalm that I was unfamiliar with, and would love to hear again. (And not because I have a crush on him, as some people would believe. I don't know who has been spreading rumors that I wanted to make out with him. I never said anything like that.) He closed it out with the punk-rock lifestyle soundtrack/laughtrack poem that needs to made into a group piece at some point. I wish I was on a team with him.

Oh, wait, I am.

4th: akamuu kept his promise to only use poems he hadn't used to make teams in the past. However, he broke his promise to not refer to himself in the third person. He drew 1,7,1 and 3. Sweet draw. He opened with a horribly performed, obviously not-at-all-memorized-but-for-some-reason-off-page "Reversing Vandalism." He figured if he did this cut/slice poem, he couldn't possibly pull out Bad Sodomy or the other cut-slice poem later without being a big ol shitball. He thought he was done in the first round, but ended up tied for 3rd. In round two he did "Plucking at The Strings At The Base Of My Spine" to wild apathy from the judges. He was still tied for third. In round 3 he did his only decent performance of the night, "Fuck Insomnia." It got scattered laughs in the appropriate places, but it dropped him to fourth, where he would stay. He closed it out with "Final Draft for the Moment," knowing the judges weren't going to love it. At least they didn't hate it enough to knock him off the team. Now he has to start writing his poems for next year.

3rd: Samantha. She made my night. She drew 7, 8, 2 & 4. She was so convinced she wouldn't even make it out of semis that she nearly had me convinced. Then she kicked my ass. Opening with my favorite poem she has about ADD and toothpaste, she wins hands-down for funniest poem of the night. Round two, sadly, I didn't write down. We were tied for third when I got back from the bathroom. Round three she did her poem about a Star Island poem which is a piece of shit. What I mean is, it's about taking a shit. It may be the best shitty poem I've heard all year. She closed it out with a Thank You poem for all the poets in the slam. can I get a collective awwwwwwwwwwwwwww? Thanks.

2nd: Simone. Grrrrrls ruled. Two chicks, and they take two of the top 3 spots. Simone made up for drawing first last week by drawing an amazing 6, 5, 6, 6. Bitch. ;) She set the bar in the first round, beating the previous leader (that'd be me) by two fucken points. Her poem was an almost love poem centering around Evil Kanievel. I've been working on a similiarly formatted love poem revolving around Bill Lambier, but hers is much better than I anticipate mine turning out, so now I'm going to have to burn it. Her second poem ...I forgot to write down, but I remember it. It was a poem about a friend's death and beauty, and being thin. Three things that when put together should be horribly cliché, but I've yet to hear Simone write a cliché. Props. Round three, she brought out her poets in love poem where two characters communicate through famous authors. Very cute. Very funny. She closed it out with her hair-dye poem. The line about the girls on the box watching a tennis match where the ball has turned left cracks my shit up every time.

1st: hot_rod_poet. Damn carpetbaggers. He drew 8,6,4 & 5. He brought it from the opening line of his opening poem, "What Would Jesus Drive?" There was a little while where I thought Simone might be able to knock him down, but it was not to be. He's the only poet that didn't stumble at all in the first three rounds, and by the time he forgot a line in round 4, it was a moot point. In the second round...damn it, where was I at the round of 2? In round three he did a poem about his hands and his father's. Just like Simone's, it sounds like it should be cliché, but it isn't. He closed it out with my favorite poem by him. A pro-Gay Marriage poem that never explicitly mentions same-sex marriages. It's about making a constitutional amendment to ban bacon based on Leviticus. Hi-larious.

What are you looking here for? I have nothing more to say?
Current Mood:  What?
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Thu, Apr. 15th, 2004 05:16 am (UTC)
just_jeff: congrats!especially drawing the one in the first round, so often the sloppy kiss of death!
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Thu, Apr. 15th, 2004 06:12 am (UTC)
akamuu: Re: congrats!Especially when one's first poem is unrehearsed and horribly performed. I honestly don't know why the judges scored me as high as they did. Perhaps the crack rock I passed out before the slam helped. Or maybe it was that I promised to replenish their supply between each round that I slammed.
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Thu, Apr. 15th, 2004 06:12 am (UTC)
akamuu: Re: congrats!And I almost forgot, thanks. 8)
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Thu, Apr. 15th, 2004 10:38 am (UTC)
just_jeff: Re: congrats!you're welcome, and don't think i'm above lifting that whole "promise them hits off the crack pipe" strategy next time i'm in this game....
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Thu, Apr. 15th, 2004 10:10 am (UTC)
jeremyrichardsCongratulations.
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Fri, Apr. 16th, 2004 03:20 am (UTC)
akamuuThanks. Now I have to bribe the people in charge of the draft to make sure we don't draw Seattle.